30?

So thirty is approaching very quickly. I’m okay with it. Really I am . No. Really.

I say this not to convince myself or others, though it may seem that way. I am saying this as a figurative “cap” that I am placing on my life thus far. A life that is awesome, btw. (And I am not talking run of the mill awesome. I mean seriously awesome.)

The first 30 years of my life have included so many, many things. For starters. My first breath. That was a great time. Taking my first steps. Again, awesome. It was like I was meant to walk upright or something. School was a hoot. Well, the last few years were anyway. The middle kinda sucked, and I don’t really recall that much of the beginning. I do recall the smell of paste though. Sigh…. The good ol’ days.

I got married, taught for a short stint of time, had babies and created a life that I am proud to live for myself and my family. Each new day brings new firsts for me as I discover the world all over again through the eyes of my kids. It is so much better the second time around. I know now, how fleeting life can be. How precious each moment it. How fragile life is.

So as my b-day approaches in a few months and the dreaded 3-0 comes barreling at me like a freight train derailed. I think who the fuck cares? Odds are in my favor that I will live twice, if not three times that long in my life time. AND more importantly, for more than 2/3 of the 30 years I couldn’t consume alcohol (legally). The love of my life has only been around for 11 of the 30 years…though to him may seem like a lifetime, really is just a drop in the bucket compared to the 30+ years that lie ahead. (Sorry sweetie!) So I am really not seeing the downside as of yet. Granted, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and die with a feature story on the evening news (finally my big break!!!)… I am not planning on that being the case, for sake of argument. But if it does, at least I got some nice new hair to show off…

So. To recap. I am in the best possible place I could dream myself to be in. 15 years ago, while sitting in a guidance counselors office, the very image of my life was in my head as I planned out my future. To say I am happy, and proud is an understatement. For this reason, I can’t wait to begin the second 30 years of my life. I can’t wait to see my boys experience the world. Their innocence breaks my heart as I know that too will be short lived. But someday,when they are 30 and I am 55-ish, and I look back on the past 60 years. I really wonder what I will be remembering. Travels? Love? Laughter? I hope so. I feel good knowing that now is the beginning of the next chapter of my life. I feel good about who I am , where I am, and who I am surrounded by. At 13, 16, even 22…. I didn’t have that insight. I wasn’t there. I am now though. And that is all that does matter.

Cheers!

Jason Beghe on Scientology

Television Star Exits Scientology

Ruggedly handsome actor Jason Beghe was best man at the wedding of “X Files” star David Duchovny (his childhood pal) and actress Tea Leoni. In 1998, he starred as Demi Moore’s love interest in “G.I. Jane.” He’s been featured in numerous TV dramas such as “Criminal Minds,” “Numb3rs” and “CSI.”

In 2005, Beghe appeared in promotional spots for the Church of Scientology.

But now Beghe has escaped the church after taking courses since 1994. He’s made a video that’s up on YouTube.

This is what he has to say: “Scientology is destructive and a rip-off.”

He also says: “It’s very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health and evolution. I think it stunts your evolution. If Scientology is real, then something’s f——ed up.”

You can see from the video that Beghe does not mince words. But his refreshing candor about the religion he joined in 1994 should shake the Celebrity Center to its core.

“It ain’t deliverin’ what it’s promised. It sure has not.”

The video is billed as a three-minute teaser to a longer interview with Beghe that’s on its way. But the short video packs a powerful punch. Beghe still uses a lot of Scientology lingo like “OT” and “clear.” Still, it’s quite easy to understand the point he’s making. After 14 years and a tremendous amount of money, he’s seeing Scientology in a different light.

Beghe has completed so many courses that he’s considered a top Scientologist, or “OT 5″ — similar to Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Kirstie Alley. But Beghe reveals: “The further up the bridge, the worse you get.”

He adds: “I don’t have an agenda. I’m just trying to help. I have the luxury of having gotten into Scientology and after having been in it, been out. And that’s a perspective that people who are still in and not out do not have.”

More to come…

Information courtesy of Fox News

Twins

A funny…

Brokeback Woman

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher’s widow said ‘You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.’

The hired hand readily agreed and went into t own on Saturday night.

He returned around 2:30 am , and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s w idow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

‘Unbutton my blouse and take it off,’ she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

‘Now take off my boots.’ He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

‘Now take off my socks.’ He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

‘Now take off my skirt.’ He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

‘Now take off my bra.’ Again, with trembling hands, did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said: ‘If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired!’

Now that’s funny … I don’t care who you are!!!!

Business Time :)

Probably the funniest thing I have ever seen, seriously. How have these guys existed without me knowing for so long???

How Time Works When You Have Kids

Earlier this morning as I was glancing at the clock for what had to have been the 20th time in an hour… I began to think how bizarre my life is. Well, maybe not bizarre, so much as my perspective is definitely skewed. My life is essentially lived in 5-6 hour blocks of time. 6am-noon, and then 3-8pm…. those are the “with kids” blocks of time. Then there is 12-3pm, which is naptime. And then 8pm on, which is when the kids have gone to sleep for the evening. I guess those blocks of time can be names “the kids are sleeping” blocks of time. So I live like this, day in and day out… it really doesn’t phase me. i like it even. I don’t think anyone would mistake me for an adventurous sort. Generally the simple things of day to day life are more than enough to keep me happy and content. Some may find that boring, but the way I see it, that makes me easier to please.

However, as I glanced at the clock, I swore it moved backwards. I thought the morning would never end. With two toddlers running around trashing everything in sight as I tried to maintain some sort of order, you can imagine how I felt. I am happy to say that luckily for me, there was not a breach in the space/time continuum, and the morning did in fact end. I sat down for a much deserved lunch in peace and quiet and piddled (piddled??) through my digital photos looking for a pic my mom had asked me for probably 5 months ago now. As i was looking I couldn’t get over how fast the boys have grown. It seems like yesterday Jackson was sleeping in a crib. Poor Charlie, I barely recall him being an infant with JAckson being barely one when he was born. Luckily Mike is a diligent picture taker, and I am now able to relive all the memories and choke back the tears that are full of a longing for yesterday. Kids are so precious. God I love being home with them. So of course I feel horribly guilty about my feelings this morning. The guilt then led me to this blog. My blogging has led me to an epiphany. Those don’t come often to me, so I had to document it. Being a mom is weird. The minutes drag on. Forever. When the boys are tearing up the house, wanting to “help” with making lunch/folding laundry/etc, crying, screaming, saying they are starving, then saying they don’t want to eat…you get the picture. Sometimes time DRAGS on. So the minutes drag, but the oddest and most ironic part of it all is that the years just fly by. So fast in fact that it is hard to remember little things like how your kids wanted to help you fold the laundry.

The minutes drag, but the years fly by.

Random Thought

Remember when you used to ride the bus and the person behind you would either kick the seat or press their knee into it, thus ramming into the small of your back?

I really hated that.

I can’t be the only one

I can’t be the only one
who wants something else out of this life.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who wants to yell from the roof tops

that I am alive
that I love
that I am searching
that I need an answer
to an unknown question.
Please tell me that
you
are
alive
as well,

so we can together hope not to be the only two.

Author Unknown

Frozen in Grand Central Station

This is a prank on a “grand” scale. Over 200 people gathered at Grand Central Station in New York to pull off a ‘frozen in place’ act. The onlooking travelers who weren’t part of the act were mystified as to what was going on. It is absolutely spectacular to watch.

Thinking of having kids…

Thinking of Having Kids? Do this 15 step program first! I found this on a site out there and I just had to share it with you all. I can’t believe how sad it is that this is mostly true…. sigh…. parenthood.Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their…

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child’s breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel….

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can’t get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive).

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out..

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this – all morning.

Lesson 6

1. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.
2. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.
3. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don’t think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don’t look like that.

Now:

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 8

1. Get ready to go out.
2. Sit on the floor of your bathroom reading picture books for half an hour.
3. Go out the front door.
4. Come in again. Go out.
5. Come back in.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10.Walk very slowly down the sidewalk for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9

Repeat everything you have learned at least (if not more than) five times

Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is also excellent). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week’s groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month old baby.

Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you’re thinking What’s “Noggin”?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying “mommy” repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each “mommy”; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the “mommy” tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room